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The Concentric Circles of Trust in Radical Authenticity

What Are You Manifesting This Week?

Today we are going to talk about the concentric circles of trust, which is a concept that I’ve been working on with my clients too. Before we get into that, what are you manifesting for this week? What is going to come to you? 

I want to challenge you to get deep on this because I didn’t know what I wanted. For my manifestation, I was like, “Well, I want to manifest some new clients. No…  I actually want to manifest new clients as people whom I can most help with my new program. No, that’s not good either.” 

So finally I settled on manifesting saying the things that I need to express, so that the people I can best help will be attracted to me. And I really liked that one because it’s something that I know is already inside of me. I want to realize it and consciously use the words that need to be said. 

Is Radical Authenticity Oversharing?

The answer is a resounding no. Radical authenticity is not about oversharing. I know sometimes people look at my content and think it is, but when you start to practice radical authenticity on a daily basis, that’s just part of your life. 

If somebody thinks that you’re oversharing, it’s usually about how they’ve perceived it. Although there are some areas where you can be sure that you are oversharing, like sharing something that may have a negative connotation.

In that case, ask yourself, “Is this a scar or a wound?” If it’s a wound, then you are oversharing. If you’re going to publicly share a wound, be sure that you’re mentally and emotionally prepared. Sometimes people have well-intentioned comments that could do some harm to you because it’s a wound.

What Are the Concentric Circles of Trust

This concept was born out of the question, “Is radical authenticity oversharing?” The subsequent question is, “How do I protect myself if I’m being vulnerable via my content?” 

Radical authenticity is a natural way to increase your emotional intelligence, without specifically putting your finger on emotional intelligence. Although I love to say emotional intelligence, you need a certain amount of self-awareness to practice radical authenticity. 

How to Show up as Your Radically Authentic Self 

To show up as your radically authentic self, you’re also going to need to learn how to self manage. That’s because sometimes we express ourselves from places that aren’t our most authentic self, like soul wounds that we’re still carting around. 

And then you’ve got your social awareness. Once you can see it in yourself, it’s a little bit easier to see in others. You can try this by looking at other people and trying to understand their emotions.

Lastly, the social management. This includes sharing, personal branding, etc. Once you’re getting your story out there, you need a certain level of all these areas to be radically authentic. 

Counting the Concentric Circles of Trust

So the concentric circles of trust concept is a way to help protect you from sharing at the wrong time. There can be as many circles as you want, but these first 3 circles are definitely the most important. 

The First Circle

The first circle is you! We often put things out there that we do not have full confidence in, and we shouldn’t. The quickest way to kill that pesky dream that won’t get out of your spirit is to share it with someone who doesn’t believe in you. 

So that first circle is you taking your dream, sitting with it and nurturing it. Imagine that first circle as the place where you plant the seed. If you’ve ever planted tomatoes or bell peppers, they always come up as two little leaves. 

Imagine if you shared that with somebody and they decided to just pluck it up out of the ground. How easy would that be? That’s why you don’t just go about sharing with everybody. 

That fledgling dream is not ready to take the battering of a full storm of other people’s doubts, particularly when you haven’t addressed your own doubts yet. 

The Second Circle

The second circle includes other people, but they have to earn it. It may not include who you think it should, like your closest friends or parents. The people who are in this second circle will be the people who have earned the right to see you at your most vulnerable. 

This does not include the people who are the most well-intentioned. What you need in your second circle is someone who believes in you at least as much as you do. 

We all have that person in our lives where we’ve looked at them and thought, “If you could see yourself the way that I see you, you would believe that you could accomplish anything.” Those are the people you need in your second circle. 

The Third Circle

In terms of your third circle, you can definitely put some of your well-intentioned folks here. It may be your parents, spouse, some of your best friends, your mentors, etc. The third circle is still a pretty good circle to be in, in terms of trust and vulnerability. 

Internalize the Circles

But at this point, your seedling can withstand a storm or two. So now you can have as many circles as you want. 

As we internalize this concept in terms of how you roll out your vulnerability, you can go through it much faster. And as your belief in yourself increases, you go through the circles very rapidly.

You have an idea. You nurture it. You share it with your second circle, and they’re super excited about it. So the strength of the dream grows at an accelerated rate, because you’ve already internalized this process. By the time you share it with your third circle, you’re pretty much ready to share it with everyone else too!

I will point to that story I told about getting my kids back in school. I went through a brief moment of feeling like a failure because I either had to put my kids back in public school or scale back a ton on my business, and I chose the former. This made me feel like a failure for a while.

And then I was like, “No, of course I’m not a failure. This is my choice, and it’s good for me and my family.” And that was my first circle. My 2nd circle heard about it, my 3rd circle heard about it, and then y’all heard about it on Marketing Monday. 

But it takes time to get there. Concentric circles of trust are something that can happen quickly once you internalize them, but building them up and understanding who fits in which circle is part of the radically authentic process.

That’s what I have for you today for Marketing Monday. What I want to leave you with is something that I picked up recently when I co-moderated the George C. Fraser room on Clubhouse: look for an opportunity to be an opportunity, as you go about your networking. Instead of looking at people’s pictures, bios, profiles and wondering what you can get, look at them and wonder what you can give.

Thank you so much for joining me, we’ll be back next week for another Marketing Monday!