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The Ripples of Being The Best You

Ruthie: Today, Ashley M. Williams, founder and CEO of RIZZARR and I are going to dig into her personal brand. She’s got a video show, a podcast show. Her talk for the C3EB Summit centered on aspects of her personal brand and messaging.

What Is the Ripple Effect? 

Ruthie: Ashley, I’ve heard you talk about the ripple effect more than once now. Can you tell us what that is? What does it mean to you, and what message are you projecting out into the universe? 

Who Is The Best Version of You?

Ashley: I love this thing by Lisa Nichols, where she talks about how the world would be different based on who you decided to be. I think each of us has our own best version of ourselves. You have your own unique set of things you can contribute to the world that can make such an impact on other people’s lives.

Do not dismiss or doubt that. Don’t take that for granted. 

I feel like so many of us are not really living our truth. We’re not living who we’ve aspired to be as children. And your ripple effect is asking, “If you could be anyone you chose to be, who would you be? How would you go about your life and showing up in the world? What impact could you make?” 

ashley m. williams the ripples of being the best you

Imposter Syndrome Keeps Our Lights Dim

As I’m talking to people, I notice that we tend to think of ourselves in a lesser way. “Who am I? Who do I think I am, that I could do this? I don’t want my light to shine because I don’t want to make other people feel uncomfortable.”

But we were all supposed to make our light shine, as Marianne Williamson said. We were supposed to come here and live out every gift that was in us, in order to help other people subconsciously do the same thing. 

You having your show inspires me to go out and create my own show. I’m getting proactive and going after that goal. Seeing other people write books pushes me to go out there and finally make my mark.

Do not diminish any part of who you are or why you’re here in this world, but realize you can have an impact on someone even in the smallest way.  

Ruthie:  That’s true, especially now with the conversations about equality and equity. I’ve been leaning more into that myself. I’m not exactly a social media warrior.

Ashley: You are in your own unique way.

Ruthie: Especially with the people that I care about, because I know they care about what I have to say. Strangers are strangers. I’d like to give pause to someone that already respects me, because either they shouldn’t respect me if they disagree vehemently, or they should pause and consider what I have to say.

Ashley: It’s a moment of impact. 

Ruthie: Yes, and that is really all I’m hoping to do. 

What Is Your Show Going to Be About? 

Ruthie: You mentioned your show is in the works. The launch date is approaching! What’s the message behind it? What are you planning on focusing on?

Ashley: Every week, we’ll interview another young person around some type of impact that they’re making in the world, their life journey, how they became who they are and what they’re creating. I also want to have a moment when I can just talk to the audience about whatever I’m dealing with for the week and whatever comes to my head. 

Ruthie: I’ve really enjoyed doing the interviews myself, but my show actually started out as me talking and saying a lot of the things that I needed to say. I’ve actually decided to do one podcast episode a week, even during the offseason.

But it’ll just be me vs. the full production effort that we go through here. I think those episodes are really important too, and they can be really fun. Mostly because it’s your mic, right? You say what you want to say,

Ashley: Yes. Because who knows again what type of impact you’re gonna make, or who needs to hear that? Even if it’s only one person, it was just one person who really needed to hear that and you’ve changed them. 

How Do You Become the Best Version of Yourself? 

Ruthie: So how do you begin to become the best version of yourself? You mentioned something about shining your light. How does that journey start? Full disclosure: I’m at a point in my life right now where I’m like, “What’s next?” 

I hinted at this during the last season, but being in the Army was a really important part of my identity. And I know people sympathize with me, but if you haven’t served, it’s really hard to understand.

People say, “You’re always a Soldier.” I do appreciate the sentiment, but I am a veteran now. I am not an active-duty Soldier, and that was my life for 8.5 years. I joined at 18, so it was incredibly foundational in terms of how I saw myself. 

When I ask you, “How do you begin to become the best version of yourself?” It’s because I’m still trying to find out!

I’m reading The Big Leap right now, and the author talks about finding your “zone of genius”. That’s great, but I wish I had a more tangible talent. There are people who like to dance and things like that.

Want to hear more about The Big Leap? Check out Ruthie’s exclusive livestream for The Defiant Business Facebook Group here.

I feel like that’s like a tangible thing. You can feel the joy emanating off of their bodies while they practice their art. I know it’s self-discovery and I’ve been patient. But how do you become the best version of yourself?

“What’s My Gift?”

Ashley: We always compare ourselves to other people and say, “What’s my gift?” But you can eventually become one of the top leading podcasters of today. And I’m serious. We all have our own unique gifts.

I think the main thing you need to do is just sit with yourself. If you were to have any type of dream life or be whatever kind of ideal person, what would that picture-perfect fairytale look like?

  • What would you be doing?
  • Who would you be meeting with?
  • What type of skills would you want to have? 

Personally, as I slowly started visualizing that, it started manifesting more. I started seeking out people to help me understand what I need to work on. Also, I worked on the limiting beliefs I have about myself, and how I’m self-sabotaging. 

Many of us don’t have the time to sit with ourselves. You get a coach for this type of thing. However, you can also do it on your own by analyzing what things you want to change about yourself. What are the things that you really like about yourself? As you’re on this journey, you shed that stuff and you analyze yourself. 

Make Time to Reflect and Get to Know Yourself

When I ask myself things, I’ll have a flash of realization, like, “Oh wait, that’s when that started! It’s because of this or that.” Our brain stores so many memories that we can get if we ask. So I think the main thing to become our best self is understanding. You need to sit with yourself and reflect. 

As you’re reflecting, really be truthful with yourself about what you don’t like, what you do, and what you need to improve on. Then take measurable steps to work towards changing that every day. If you even just acknowledge it, your desire to change will start manifesting more. 

There are so many things I didn’t even realize that I was doing that were sabotaging me. Now that I’ve acknowledged it, I’m fixing it.

We’re always talking to ourselves in our heads and we tend to repeat the same things every day, not even realizing it. So the minute you change one thought, that changes another thought, and another thought… and all of a sudden, you’re changing your entire mindset!

Changing The Internal Monologue to Impact Your External Reality

Ruthie: You’re changing that inner monologue. It’s amazing what we accomplish despite some terrible monologues. It wasn’t until I quit my job, and I realized how powerful the inner monologue is. And then I read the book Think and Grow Rich, which is what keyed me into how I made that happen. 

I realized that I had spoken it into existence every single day. I did not even consider the possibility of failure. The other thing that made it work was that it was the perfect thing for me. I was not asking for something ahead of time, and I had people that I spoke to about it. And I talked to at least one of them every day.

It was like, “If I could just get here and do this, then I will do this next step.” And I always hit the next step. I did not entertain the possibility of failure. I had a very clear idea of what it would look like when I’d consider myself successful. 

The problem/good thing was that I got there way sooner than I thought, and then I just felt like I was adrift. What do I do next? Should I have an agency? Do you want me to try and sell them a product? Do I need employees?

I think that’s my biggest struggle, and I don’t think I’m the only one. I’m a mid-career successful person wanting to be by my best self, but not knowing who that is. What does my life look like as my best self? And what if I get it wrong?

Don’t Worry. You Can’t Get It Wrong

Ashley:  You can’t get it wrong. Your soul knows. Deep down, we all know our truth. We all know what we want. Most of us don’t take the time to sit down and figure out what that is. Most people don’t know what they want because they just don’t take the time to think. 

The other thing is that we may not think we even deserve it. I had heard “no” so many times that I was just so irritated. I was like, “Just forget it. I’m going to bootstrap the company.” Thank God having that mindset also helped me in other ways with getting traction, so that I was eventually ready.

I realized I needed to understand that I am deserving. But many of us don’t even think that we’re deserving of certain things, which already hinders the idea that we can have what we want to have, so we just settle. 

Ruthie: That’s really powerful. Thank you for sharing that. You’ve given me some food for thought. I learned a long time ago that I’m never the only person who has a certain question or feels a certain way.

So I know that at least one other person has got to walk away from listening to this episode realizing that they need to schedule some time with themselves. Now I know I  can schedule some time with myself tomorrow.

Ashley: I still continuously do it. I need to update my vision board so that I have it right in front of my desk. I want to be able to see different things that I want to manifest. 

Where Can People Reach You and Do You Have Any Resources to Share? 

Ruthie: I know you’ve got a couple of different avenues. If there are Millennial or Gen Z content creators who are listening, then they should definitely go to your website and set up an account there. But what about other places to reach you? And are there any resources that you would point us toward?

Ashley: Yeah, sure. So I’m definitely active on social media, though not so much on Instagram, which is weird being a Millennial. 

Ruthie: It’s not! I’m not good at Instagram either. My virtual assistant wishes I loved Instagram as much as she does.

Ashley: I mean it’s fun, but I really don’t like taking pictures of myself. A lot of people like doing that. I post a lot of quotes. I’m on Twitter, LinkedIn, and all other social media. Just try to find me at Ash M Will, Ashley M Williams, or like Ashley, Your Favorite Millennial on Facebook. 

In terms of resources, I would highly recommend different books like:

About The Magic, which is about gratitude and there’s a gratitude challenge every day. It just makes you just feel much more joyful in the world. I started doing it during quarantine. I need to keep doing it, but I just think it’s really nice to put down what you’re grateful for every morning, and at night when you’re thinking about your day.

It makes you feel much more uplifted.

Gratitude Exercise with The Family

Ruthie: I do something similar with my kids. After we go to the bathroom and brush our teeth, we talk about one thing that made us happy and one thing we’re grateful for. We try to get the kids to focus on something that somebody else did for them or with them. 

I can’t remember exactly why I started doing it. I think it was that I wanted to reflect more on the things that I was grateful for, and then I figured you can’t be too young to start. We even ask the 2-year-old.

She usually goofs off a little bit, and she’ll jump around and say that she’s grateful for jumping. But you know what? She’s got strong legs. She should be grateful for that. Good for her. But even she wants her turn, and I think that’s important. 

The kids will say stuff like “dinner,” Dad played with them, or that one of their siblings helped them with something and things like that. I think it’s really nice and it gives me and my husband an opportunity to share things that have happened during the day with the kids. It used to have more variety before quarantine started. 

 Ashley: That’s so sweet! 

Ruthie: But thank you so much for being here with me and for doing this interview series. I know that a lot of people are going to get a tremendous amount of value, and I’m really excited to get it out there. It’s going to be a great season.

Ashley Thank you. I’m so appreciative for the opportunity, and you creating and hosting this podcast. So thank you for the impact that you’re making.

Ruthie: And thanks again AJ for introducing us!

ashley m. williams the ripples of being the best you